Time… is all that’s needed

It really is heartening, though a huge price was paid and many things were compromised, to realize your mistakes while some of the past confusions and misunderstandings are still taking a toll on me. I was so wrong, and now, while as relieved and happy as I am, something even further is calling me…

Honestly, what are mistakes? Mistakes are never intentional. I was so myopic and insecure and caught up in my own shallow sights that I made such mistakes.

I was the one who said “Be less insensitive!” “Be responsible for (whatever the mistake/s is/are)!” Yet… I didn’t see things from another point of view, I didn’t consider other ways certain things could’ve happened rather than those ways I saw them and thought them to be. I have wronged a friend who never even tried doing any of the terrible things I thought he did, regardless explicitly or implicitly, which led to my friendship with a close and good friend facing multiple challenges, one after another.

Just when this close and good friend of mine was planning and executing the plans for a birthday celebration for that friend whom I wronged, my myopia, shortsightedness and insensitivity only worsened this misunderstanding that has already been there for half a year.

It was only until the moment I saw that friend sat down, facing the birthday cake, and with that genuinely touched expression of his that I finally knew how completely wrong I was. It was how I did not understand him enough. It was how I didn’t understand him enough because we weren’t as close as I am to that close and good friend, or the two of them together. If only I could turn back time…

What’s fated cannot outdo the sheer determination of one in overcoming each and every challenge.

– Author unknown

And therefore I chose to be that force, the determined soul whose perseverance overcame all the challenges faced and strived to prove that I can reach that same level of relationship with pure efforts.

Now that I’ve seen past the wrong I have done, of course, I struggle to make it up to the two of them as much as I could feel not guilty anymore.

But, even before that, an issue long long ago that I should have seen past by now, is back.

When I first got to know this close and good friend of mine, it was almost considered an instant fated brotherhood between us. However, with time doing what it does best – proving, this was proven wrong with the challenges we faced. Now that these challenges have been overcome, I long for that brotherhood once again… the pure joy and happiness of it… but of course, having being more mature now, I should know that such levels of friendship can only come in two ways: naturally, or by efforts, in a sense that we prove ourselves that we are worthy of being brothers. Either way, only time will tell.

I love the both of you, and I’m sorry, so sorry. Please forgive me.

But I know: unless it’s fated, I have to work for it, if not, or else, it’s just not in for me. But I won’t pursue it to be your brother again. Let time do what it does best, and let it prove instead.